A small, sketchy take on alcoholism excitement.

BY indefiniteloop

A recent monologue, and a new item on the indefiniteloop shop (coming soon) inspired a sketch. Which quickly became an illustration, and it’s varied versions (a couple of which are shown below).

How does excitement feel? How does it feel to me? It’s supposed to be this feeling of great enthusiasm, and eagerness; that’s the very basic of a definition from the dictionary, for excitement.

Feeling of great enthusiasm? Probably they meant that your heart races, you become super hopeful, and are primed for disappointments. It’s also just one step behind of Fanaticism.

It’s a strong concoction of desire, wish, wishful thinking, hope, and belief. Just one step short of Fanaticism, thus some of the other ingredients of this potent poison are self-control, bucket load of patience, and the ability to drag the reasoning part of the brain into the part of brain where all these other ingredients exist. These feelings, when introduced to reason, don’t play too well with each other. No, not at all.

It feels like being an olympian, waiting for the gun to go off. Except that the waiting is something that ultimately spoils the broth. Leading you to make mistakes. Leading you on, so that you jump the gun. Or simply become jaded; which keeps happening quite often - the jaded bit.

With all of this there’s no escape as such. Only that you’ve to go through it; through all that you’re feeling, irrespective of it being excitement or any other feeling. Go through the feeling. Do the deed that creates this excitement for you. Then either come up on the other side full of disappointment (on how that feels like: maybe another time, in another post) or you become more excited for the next action B that you now await after an action A.

Excitement - Being trapped inside a cola bottle.
Excitement - Being trapped inside a cola bottle. (Final version)

It feels like being trapped inside a dark cola bottle; leaning against one of its corners. But, this bottle does not have a corner. Bottles are round all around. Mostly.

It feels perpetually wet; like being drenched in something that’s more exciting than you. It’s very frisky, in there. There’s very little air to breathe, with what does bubbles carry; fizz. This does a number on your self-confidence if you’ve been through this stage in the past, only to fizz-out. The bottle cap, it becomes your ultimate nemesis; the bottle cap — something that’s stopping you from exploding, from jumping the gun. Let’s label that as reason. Emotions, and reasons do not mix. Like coca-cola.

A little shake, and the pressure builds up, here in this nonexistent corner of the round cola bottle. Waiting for the cap to eventually come off. For someone or something to pop it open. For a reason to pop it open. Or waiting for the bottle to break. Whichever comes first. It teaches you a lot about patience. It teaches you not to think too much, too often. Not to hinder your own self. Ultimately, to trust yourself. To accept your self.

Excitement - Being trapped inside a cola bottle.
Version A

Excitement - Being trapped inside a cola bottle.
Version A

PS: Yes, I know it relates to alcoholism somehow. That’s why I had to write it down to remind myself that’s it’s not about alcoholism. It struck me much later. Also: Genie in the bottle.

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