Everyday we interact with people. Build relationships. Maintain them. Or walk away from them. Unfortunately, the dynamics of our relationships, with people and our social environment get complicated. No definite guide to relationships exist. If you ever find one, trust your gut, it’s too good to be true.
Our entire being dictates the relationships we’ve had, and the bridges we’ve burnt. It’s dictated by the environment we’ve grown up in and around. It’s dictated by our experiences. It’s dictated by the people, our relationship with them and the dynamics of the relationship with them. All those relationships - be it our mom, dad, sister, friends, girl friends, crushes, and so on. All of them have influenced our state of mind, thought processes and behaviors.
“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.” - Swami Vivekananda
Then there comes a time, when you want to grow. You want to be able to understand your actions. You want to change the way you feel about yourself and your relationships. You want to say “Yes” to all the things you have been waiting for. You want to say “No” to everything and everyone, that’s holding you back.
End of last year, and the beginning of 2015, was such a time for me. I had lost my bearings. The list of failures was growing. My life needed change. Desired it. I wanted to feel lighter, happier and satisfied with myself and all the relationships I share with others. I wanted to have the courage to say No, when needed. I wanted to be able to not feel guilty about my decisions. This is when and where, Transactional Analysis found me.
Understanding my decisions and accepting my faults. Accepting who I am and being true to myself (being more bare and vulnerable). Understanding others around me and what they want from the relationships I share with them. All this and more, I learned from Transactional Analysis 1 and the tools it provided.And I am still learning.
It’s been less than two months, since the last class of the Transactional Analysis course, I took. Consciously or unconsciously, my decisions have improved. TA 1 has helped me get a better grasp of my feelings and motivations. Feelings and motivations about everything, including people and relationships. I took some time out today, thinking about if I have improved in any way.
I have. I know a lot more about myself, since the last class. Again, I’ve not done anything specific as such, but just self analyzed the psychology behind myself. The games that I play. The loops that I want to break. Transactional Analysis 1 has given me some tools, that help when needed the most. When people ask me “How am I doing?”, my answer is, that I am fine. And I mean every word of “fine”.
There have been heart breaks. There have been changes from within. It’s the first time in years, that I’ve been able to keep to my goals. Become more productive. Become…myself as I see myself… more authentic. Understood better, the relationships I share. Burned bridges where/when the bridges have burned me. I can’t wait to see how I change over the course of this year. For better or worse.
If it’s one course I recommend this year, for you (or any other year you may be reading this post in), it’s not a technical course or some such. It’s learning psychology. No matter who you are or where you are. No matter what form of psychology. As long as the psychology course, gives you the tools to help you become more awesome. As long as it helps you achieve more and transform into something better tomorrow. As long as it can help you see that you are beautiful, in/with your own eyes. Transaction Analysis 1 did that for me. Transaction analysis is doing that for me. It has made me more awesome, within the span of the last two months. Awesome, to me, if no one else!
Transactional analysis (TA to its adherents), is a psychology idea that humans are social creatures and that a person is a multi-faceted being that changes when in contact with another person in their world. ↩ ↩2 ↩3 ↩4