BY indefiniteloop

To victors, go the spoils?

Here’s one of my personal experiences, where a group is formed to achieve and create something beautiful, and then turns into something else, unwanted by someone like me. The below is a rant, about how group politics, affects an individual like me. Taking me out of the equation is the best scenario, for someone like me. Please also note, that I am not judgmental of any one, particular person. I am not criticizing a person, or persons. I am criticizing the atmosphere that gets created. It’s a rant about me disliking what an atmosphere tends to become with group politics. It’s more about me taking myself out, because I am not the one to judge.

Warning: Rant ahead.

The Rant.

Starting a new adventure and, dipping your toes into un-tried experiences is, always exciting. Last year, learning Argentinian Tango - my first official ballroom dance (don’t know if you can call it that though…) experience, was my adventure. Tango, is so much fun. Learning it, was exciting. To be able to dance, when you have never danced before, feels awesome.

My tutors - Nicolas Sandez and Malou Meyenhofer , both, are marvelously, brilliant. Their teachings and techniques, memorized by my feet. Teaching, all of us, to feel relaxed and making sure no steps were etched in stone, it was the perfect class for someone like me. The teaching atmosphere, created by both, was casual, inviting and fun. It was filled with music, dance and the love of it all.

Six months into learning, both had to go back to their respective countries, for renewing their visas and general life care-taking. It was a blow, felt like one. Because, after that day, Tangoing, quickly became a solo experience.

When leaving, both, Malou and Nico, did say to continue practicing and host events ourselves, for ourselves. Some of the students, the ones that looked at the void of the teachers missing, took it as an opportunity. To host Milongas and Practicas, focusing more on the business, than the art. I understand that, while teaching Tango (or any other art), hosting Milongas and Practicas, business is always front and foremost. Nico and Malou, never let it feel like that. For some reason, the whole learning affair with them, was an adventure, instead of an investment.

Attending some of those events, hosted by the fellow students and now hosts, the feeling of adventure doesn’t exist. It has quickly become a political war, with two groups involved in the entire affair. Group politics it is, something I detest. Individually all those people involved are beautiful, great to know and hang around with. Attending their events for dancing, is a different matter all-together.

Don’t get me wrong, while reading, its coming out to sound like I may be speaking from a high horse. But, I have tried. Initially, I tried attending the events, to dance and walk the walk. But I just couldn’t. That isn’t me.

The atmosphere, of these socials, is different. The love of Tango, lost. I still attend these events, for fifteen minutes at the most. To meet and greet people, who I know and value. To say hellos and good-byes. At every such event, I go with an open-mind. Thinking that I may just end up feeling comfortable enough, to dance again. More often than not, I just come back home after meeting people.

I am not giving up on Tango or the idea of an ideal group. Somewhere, somehow, I will continue learning and dancing. The sole reason for an up-coming trip in March, is that I find my feet again. I am hopeful.

PS: I have two left feet.

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