I don’t like over thinking, when I want to take some action. A lot of people see this as a sign of me being, impatient. I don’t. Every time, I have come across a major, proverbial, fork in the road; I have always, asked myself one question - What’s the worse that can happen?
Accepting consequences for my actions, before I take a step forward, has become second nature to me. This characteristic, of my nature, has enabled me, to grow a thick skin. It also, has provided me the strength I, very much, need to go against the flow and listen; Actually listen, to something inside of me. Much, much later in my life, I have realized this something to be my gut.
However, this does not, in any way whatsoever, mean that I haven’t made any wrong choices. What I am trying to say is, this - I have made a lot of decisions that were bad, some have even gone from bad to worse, and I am sure I am going to make mistakes again, however, I was/will be mentally prepared for the worst, while taking action. Thanks to my gut.
Thus, regret is something I don’t have and it is something that I fear the most. This fear, so far, has been a good thing. Making me do things, I never imagined possible! Giving me experiences, I never knew I would begin to crave!
What do I regret?
If, today, you ask me the question - What do I regret? I would only say this - Not having the foresight of creating a backup plan(s), when I could’ve. This, too, has changed and I have evolved, such that, now I think about the consequences and think about backups and their consequences. Lot of thinking - again something that I am not fond of.
“Leap; and the net will appear.” - Unknown.
I like this quote, I prefer this ideology. This thought of being vulnerable, because only when you are raw, exposed and willing to get hurt - only then, you are willing to put in everything you’ve got. It takes a lot of me to give up on something, sometimes this is also something that holds me back, from being.
I may call out my mistakes to others, and myself, (or sometimes others may call them out for me) from time to time. Yes, these mistakes do creep up on me, at the weirdest hours. I do not let them make my decisions for me. Instead I take the Leap, try out something different, something I didn’t the last time around.
On Giving Up
Giving up on anything, has been the toughest thing to bear for me and will be, for an eternity. I have, already, shared that tattoos, have been a milestone, a stamp for the passage of time for me. What I haven’t shared is that whenever I have been tattooed, it’s also the time when, I have had to give up on something or someone. This is something, until I wrote this blog post, was known to none.
All said and done, I don’t regret, I do not want to regret and the fear of regretting is why I will always take that Leap, if that Leap is something I want and am willing to die for. But at the same time, the moment I realize that it’s no longer something I want, I won’t be shy or afraid to say no. Thus, in saying No, and in knowing that the time is right to give up and I have nothing left to offer but only fodder for my stubbornness, I don’t regret and what’s done is done.